Keeping Your Marriage Solid When Adopting or Fostering by Creating A Family

Source: https://creatingafamily.org/

“One of the wisest pieces of advice I received as a new parent was the following: The greatest gift you can give your child is a healthy and happy relationship with your spouse. Four kids later all I can add is a loud “AMEN”!” by Creating A Family. #SaveAdoptions

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It is so easy in the thralls of new parenthood to be completely obsessed with your new baby or child. It is also pretty common to be completely overwhelmed by the demands of new motherhood/fatherhood. This is the case regardless whether you adopt a newborn, a 6 year old, or foster a sibling group of 3. Parenthood can be all-consuming if we let it. I’m suggesting that you don’t let it consume your marriage.

Parenting is a Marathon, not a Sprint!

You’re going to be parents for a LONG time. Even when your kids are grown and have flown the nest, you will still be parenting. It’s easy to forget this at the beginning. When asked in the Creating a Family Facebook Support Group what they were doing to find time for their marriage, we heard the following:

  • Not Much. But we’re older parents and I guess we had time before to ourselves so we’re kind of ok with all family time. We go out maybe every 6 weeks or so. We’ve kind of turned more into best friends and partners in crime but we’re ok with that.
  • We are fostering and parenting and all our time and energy are going to the kids. I feel like we give each other only our leftovers. And lately neither of us have much left over. We know we need to do something about it, but just don’t have the energy or time to do it.
  • We don’t. DH and I are lacking. We try to have alone time in the car or at 2 am, but it’s hard.

For the record, alone time when you are passing in the hallway at 2:00 am does not count!

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