Why Pre-Adoption Education Is Imperative When Preparing to Parent a Child Through Adoption.

Acknowledging the child’s grief, sitting with them in their pain and walking the journey to attachment together, cannot be stressed enough as necessary to successfully attach.

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A Peaceful Heart

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State Department Continues Its Cruel War On Adoption Agencies

SaveAdoptions_BRIDGE__3_Jayme Metzgar, a Senior Contributor with The Federalist, has written another stirring article about the State Department and its war on Adoption Agencies. The article was printed today and you can read it here. Please be sure to not only read this article, but share it with your contact list and forward it to your Congressman.

Thank you!

Perfect Holiday Parenting Webinar! FREE on 11/27/18

Being a parent can be hard.  Join me for an hour of discussion, tips and insights on how to stay calm when your children are losing their cool.

This free webinar will be held on Tuesday November 27th at 8:30 pm, EDT.  I’d love to have you join me!

You can register here, or by clicking on the flyer image.

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Keeping Your Marriage Solid When Adopting or Fostering by Creating A Family

Source: https://creatingafamily.org/

“One of the wisest pieces of advice I received as a new parent was the following: The greatest gift you can give your child is a healthy and happy relationship with your spouse. Four kids later all I can add is a loud “AMEN”!” by Creating A Family. #SaveAdoptions

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It is so easy in the thralls of new parenthood to be completely obsessed with your new baby or child. It is also pretty common to be completely overwhelmed by the demands of new motherhood/fatherhood. This is the case regardless whether you adopt a newborn, a 6 year old, or foster a sibling group of 3. Parenthood can be all-consuming if we let it. I’m suggesting that you don’t let it consume your marriage.

Parenting is a Marathon, not a Sprint!

You’re going to be parents for a LONG time. Even when your kids are grown and have flown the nest, you will still be parenting. It’s easy to forget this at the beginning. When asked in the Creating a Family Facebook Support Group what they were doing to find time for their marriage, we heard the following:

  • Not Much. But we’re older parents and I guess we had time before to ourselves so we’re kind of ok with all family time. We go out maybe every 6 weeks or so. We’ve kind of turned more into best friends and partners in crime but we’re ok with that.
  • We are fostering and parenting and all our time and energy are going to the kids. I feel like we give each other only our leftovers. And lately neither of us have much left over. We know we need to do something about it, but just don’t have the energy or time to do it.
  • We don’t. DH and I are lacking. We try to have alone time in the car or at 2 am, but it’s hard.

For the record, alone time when you are passing in the hallway at 2:00 am does not count!

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Panel of Parents Adopting Older Kids: Surviving that 1st Year – Creating a Family

Source: https://creatingafamily.org/

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Adopting and fostering older kids is hard for both the child and the parent, especially the first year. A panel of moms who have adopted older kids share their tips for surviving the first year home. Host Dawn Davenport, Executive Director of Creating a Family, the national infertility & adoption education and support nonprofit, interviews Melissa Basham, mom to 4 boys adopted from foster care; Abigail Betancourt, mom to 2 kids adopted from foster care; Jan Egozi, mom to one child adopted internationally; and Shelley McMullen, mom to 1 child adopted internationally.

Listen to podcast.

Research Study Participants Sought Regarding Transracial Adoption

16972215_s-sizedAs many of you know, NCFA is committed to, and passionate about, research regarding adoption.  Some of that research is assembled and published by NCFA, including our Adoption: By the Numbers, where they report the most comprehensive statistics on adoption in the United States.   In addition to the research they conduct, they also promote the research done by others to further our understanding of adoption and issues related to adoption.  Toward that end, NCFA is sending along information about a research project being conducted regarding transracial adoption and foster care.

A researcher at Florida State University is interested in connecting with parents who are fostering or have adopted transracially.  If you think this description is a good fit for your clients or network, please consider passing this information along to them.

Parents who are currently fostering or have adopted transracially are needed for a research study.  Interested participants will take a pre-course measure, be randomly assigned a treatment or control course, and then complete a post-course measure.  All participation in the study is completed online, and the fosterparentcollege.com course login id and password will be assigned to each participant by the researcher.  Participants will have 30 days to complete the course.  Total time to complete the surveys and course online takes 3 hours, and participants can come and go as they please.  Participants who complete the study will receive a $20 Visa gift card.  Interested participants should e-mail or contact Jordan Montgomery at jem14e@my.fsu.edu or 850-661-6454.

Sincerely,

Ryan Hanlon, MA, MS, MSW
Vice President of Education, Research, and Constituent Services
National Council For Adoption

8 Crucial Tips For Kinship Adoption

Source: https://creatingafamily.org/

By Dawn Davenport

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Here are our top eight tips for smoothly integrating children adopted through kinship adoption into your family.

  1. Get Educated. Adoptive parenting is different from parenting kids from birth. Not worse, not better, but different. Parents who adopt a niece, nephew, or grandchild need the same preparation as other adoptive parents. We have a ton of resources at Adoption A-Z Resource Guide.
  2. Seek Expertise. You will need to find an adoption attorney or adoption agency to help you navigate through a kinship adoption. We have a great free multimedia guide to help you-Creating a Family’s Multimedia Guide on Choosing an Adoption Agency or Attorney. Make sure to ask whomever you hire how many kinship adoptions they do each year in your state.
  3. Keep the focus on the child and what is in the child’s best interest as you navigate the post adoption relationships in your family. This is sometimes easier said than done, so spend time pre-adoption talking with your extended family members about what you think is best for the child.

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The Scariest Special Need of All—Would You Adopt This Child?

Source: https://creatingafamily.org

By Dawn Davenport

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In my experience there is one special need that scares prospective adoptive parents the most. The one where even parents who have a wide range of acceptance for special needs will often say “no”. The special need that is preventing thousands of children from being adopted. That special need is being the victim of sexual abuse. Yes, that special need is actually being the victim of abuse!

Through no fault of their own these children have been sexually abused and are now being victimized again by the near universal fear of raising a child that has been sexually abused. Irony anyone?

I have been told by countless social worker that if the child has a record of sexual abuse in their file or a record of showing the symptoms of having been sexually abused, the chances of finding an adoptive family becomes infinitely harder. This breaks my heart.

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A Guide to Selecting An Adoption Or Foster Therapist

Source: https://creatingafamily.org/

Guest post by Carol Lozier, Forever-Families

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Image credit: adesigna

Families experience great joy as they welcome newly adopted or foster children into their lives. When a child comes home, parents might start counseling right away or the need may not arise until a later time, such as adolescence. Identifying the right therapist can be a challenging task, especially if a parent is not familiar with the counseling field. This article gives parents direction on choosing the right adoption counselor for their child. There are many factors to consider, from insurance and office location, to the therapist’s degree and training. Any reputable therapist will be happy to answer questions about themselves and their practice. Some questions to ask the prospective therapist include:

Do you have a masters’ degree (or greater) in a counseling related field? Counseling related fields include: psychology, social work, psychiatry, and marriage and family therapy.

Do you have a license to practice independently? Each state and degree have different requirements, but a license indicates the therapist passed state boards showing competency in their degree.

When did you finish your counseling degree? It is preferable for the therapist to have completed their degree more than five years ago. Of course, more experience is desirable.

Do you take my insurance? If the therapist is in-network with your insurance, call the company to request benefit information and an authorization (if needed). If the therapist is out-of- network, call the company to determine your benefits. You will want to ask about your deductible, co-pays, co-insurance, and requirement for authorization.

How many years have you worked with foster and adopted children? An effective counselor will have at least two to three years expertise in the area of foster care or adoptions. And ideally, 30% to 50% of the therapist’s practice should be with foster or adopted children.

What is the location of your practice? Ask about location as it can make a difference in your choice.

As the parent, will I stay in the room during my child’s sessions? Typically, an adoption therapist keeps parents in the therapy session with the child. The parent remains in the room for information and attachment opportunities.

How were you trained to work in this area? There are many acceptable treatment models, including: Theraplay, Narrative therapy, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), and Dyadic Developmental therapy. Research whichever model the therapist uses so that you are familiar with the process and know what to expect in sessions.

What additional training do you have that augments your chosen model? It is suggested that therapists have additional training in: individual therapy with children and adults, family therapy, child development, trauma work, and cognitive and behavior therapy.

Will we meet alone with you in the first session or do we bring our child? A general rule of thumb is parents attend the first session alone unless the child is an adolescent, then the child may accompany the parents.

These last questions are for the family to ask themselves after the first visit or two: Do we feel this therapist is a positive and comfortable fit for our family? Is the counselor open to our questions about the therapy process? You want to be able to answer “Yes” to both of these questions, as the therapeutic relationship is interactive and built on trust and respect.

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